How Not To Write a Short Story

Homer writing
Homer writing on a memo pad. As convenient as this method is, most writers would probably prefer a desk and a typewriter, where they can sit down and compose sentences on a solid surface. I wonder if Homer actually scribbled out the Iliad and the Odyssey using this archaic method.

About the Short Story

Short stories are often considered the building blocks of the literary world. Learn to write a good short, and all of a sudden you will find that your avenues of literary communication have broadened dramatically. For example, the short story format can be expanded to create a screenplay, a stage play or a novella. Another alternative is to string together a linked series of short stories to create a full length novel. No matter, how you look at it, putting together a good short is nothing but beneficial to writers of all levels.

Following are a few methods you might consider when you desire to shortcut the creative process.

Get Hammered and Just Let The Words Flow Onto The Paper

Homer Simpson drinking with a friend
Homer Simpson drinking with a friend

Alcohol has long been a substance associated with and abused by writers, especially of the male gender. Furthermore, writers such as Ernest Hemingway and Hunter Thompson were sometimes associated with doing their best work while under the influence. With Hemingway this is mostly myth, for even though the American novelist was often photographed in bars and taverns with a drink in hand, most observers believe that Ernest usually did not crack open a bottle until he was done writing for the day.

Unfortunately, such is not the case for his Parisian ex-pat buddy, F. Scott Fitzgerald, who according to his buddy, Ernest, had a horrendous drinking problem. In fact, the publication of A Movable Feast, which describes in sordid detail, F. Scott’s Parisian drinking escapades, was not published until after Hemingway’s death, in part, due to the stark portrayal of Fitzgerald and other American ex-pats .

Unfortunately, F. Scott Fitzgerald is not the only notable writer to have died at early age from alcohol abuse. Other members of this not-so-elite- club include Jack Kerouac, Jack London, Dylan Thomas and Edgar Allan Poe. Fortunately, the women seemed to have fared better with the bottle, though they are not exempt from the excesses of imbibing.

Write An Outline and Spend Lots of Time Getting Organizing Before You Actually Begin Writing

Homer Simpson actually has a very organized mind.
Contrary to popular perception, Homer actually has a very organized mind.

There are two schools of thought here. The first is to outline, organize and pre-plan thoroughly before you actually glue your ass to the chair and churn out a manuscript, ASAP. After all if it worked for Jack Kerouac (On The Road), it will surely work for you.

The second is to write by the seat of pants, but who really wants to put words down in that fashion.

P.S. Other novels that were penned in very short order include Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury), Enders Game (Orson Scott Card), The Gambler ( Fyodor Dostoyevsky) and A Catcher In the Rye (J.D. Salinger).

Play It Safe, Don’t Take Any Risks

Homer making himself comfortable
Homer making himself comfortable.

The more comfortable you are, the better your writing will be. Just look at Homer.

Seek Out Agents and Publishers As You Write

homer on the phone
homer on the phone

If you got a really great idea, the publishing world will flock to your doorstep. No need to have the whole manuscript written out beforehand, just get the general gist of your concept down on paper, and then start making contacts. The rest should be relatively easy.

 Write Only About Your Own Experiences

Homer networking
Homer networking

All you have to do is follow that old axiom, Write What You Know; you can’t go wrong. If Mark Twain said it, it must be good advice. Even today, an up and coming writer will see and hear this said from all sorts of sources. Best advice is to follow this attitude religiously and if you happen to come across a Nobel Prize winner who advises differently, you should discard those words immediately.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s